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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?